


The Sun of the Night Sky

by Katakatica



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Grillby, Racism, Reader Is Not Frisk, Reader is weird, Reader-Insert, Romance, Violence, reader is paranoid, something bad had happened in the past
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 13:38:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6331318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katakatica/pseuds/Katakatica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She has always been terrified. Of the dark, of other people. Of loud noises... of life. But then, he seeped into her life like the first rays of the morning sun. Lighting up a world she had once dreaded. Could she learn to feel something other than fright? Or was it too late for her already? <br/>Only time would tell...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. At Night I Fear

**Author's Note:**

> Short summary is short. Will change it but right now I can't come up with anything else. I just needed to write this haha...hehe. Yea.  
> Written in 1st POV for now, but it may change :D Just..trying something else :D) Hope it's okay xD

I have never been very... brave. It was not that I did not want to possess the courage to go home alone at night or talk to knew people without feeling as if they could stab me any moment: I _could_ not gather it. It was as if I were a mere shell of a person, lacking certain aspects. The common sense telling me that the shadow on the ground was mine, or that people did not just jump with a knife dared you enter the principal's office was one of them. I was used to it, and so were the people who lived around me. I tried not to let it get the best of me, however. I existed as normally as I could, taking the bus only when it was bright out and calling a taxi at any other cases. It was definitely affecting the way I lived: the money I spent on cabs, I could have easily put aside. Or maybe I could have bought the more expensive of foods for one. Since I moved into the tiny apartment I called _home_ I lived on whatever was the cheapest at the moment, which usually ranged from ramen noodles to damaged fruit no one wanted. I couldn't even remember the last time I had the luxury of eating something else.

Still, it was a lot better than going home at night, alone. In the darkness, shadows came to life. It was harder to breathe, it was harder to move. The sky fell on me like a heavy blanket, stars seemingly so far away that not even their faint blinking could reassure my uneasy heart. I would run, as quick as my legs could take me.

It was pure torture.

Because of that, I readily gave up on eating something edible... as long as it meant that I was home quickly without any...issues. Of course, by the end of each month, it was getting harder to try and juggle what little money I earned in a way that I survived _and_ I could take a taxi each night. At times, I forced myself to take the bus, then walk. It was quick, only about thirty minutes but to me, it seemed like more. Maybe days. But it meant that at least my bills were paid for.

It was on a late-May Thursday that I realized that I had ran out of money once more. My bills had been paid for, yes, but I barely had any left. It was enough for a week or so pass for the bus, but not for as many taxi rides as I needed.

Not going to work sounded like the best idea to me, but I knew that it was something I could not do. After all, I needed to live off something. That something, obviously, was money.

 _Going_ to work was easy. I jumped a bit from time to time, my chest heavy, but as long as the sun was out and bright, I was fine. It was a relatively nice morning, too, with barely any clouds swimming in the startling blue sky. Warm rays of sunlight caressed my cheek and I even stopped in my tracks from time to time, closing my eyes for a few moments just to enjoy it. I always walked in the morning. It wasn't much longer than taking the bus - buses in my little town were very slow, so it made sense, really, - and at times, it helped me forget about my issues. It was nice to see children head to school with large grins on their chubby faces, mothers herding them with soft smiles and care in their gaze. People like them seemed to have little wrong with the world. I often envied those who were younger than me, or those who were older, but with their family to rely on. Maybe if I was akin to them, I would not have been such a mess.

My job was something I despised even the thought of. I was the cleaning lady of the local kindergarten. It wasn't that I didn't want something better, something that paid more... If I could have found any workplace that would have accepted me with my barely there experience and lack of much education - I had finished high school but barely passed most of my subjects - I would have ran there, fighting my fear of people down. But... no one wanted someone like me. Apparently, I wasn't even qualified to be a waitress. I had tried applying for an open position in the teeny tiny restaurant near my house, but I had been rejected. It had been years ago but the thought still made my stomach drop. Maybe I had been rude to my potential boss? Or had I stuttered as always?

At least being a cleaner meant that I did not need to communicate much with others. That was definitely a bright point on my list despite the scarce amount of cash I made. Children sometimes crowded me when they could not find their teachers, but that was it. Luckily, even I could handle a couple of silly kids waiting impatiently, or asking me about my weird uniform. That was nothing out of the ordinary.

Deep in thought, I reached the kindergarten. It was nothing much, small white building with a couple paintings on the front. One was supposed to resemble a rainbow, but time had faded its colors. It looked like a couple pale stripes above each other now, with white spots blooming at parts. The fence was a startling red and a small playground sat behind the building with a tiny slide and small swings even the youngest students could use without any issue. Behind that, were the toys for the older children, hidden behind tall gates. Only the teachers could take them there.

I sighed softly as I observed the yard. Litter lay in the grass like wilting flowers, in an almost taunting manner. I felt as if it was looking at me, mocking me. Because I would be the one to get rid of it.

I was nothing but a cleaner. My hardest task consisted of taking the trash out.

Shaking my head, I tried to push away the dark thoughts. It was still pretty early, the children were not going to come outside for a while. I could start out there in the garden so they would not swarm me when I had things to do. That way, I spared myself the embarrassment of communicating, too.

I worked in silence, raking the trash out with small grunts of pain. I was weak, my legs shaking just from doing such simple things.

At least I had music to lull me as I worked. Had it been forbidden for me to listen to it while working, I would have gone insane. Then again, maybe I was already there. I was not normal but was I crazy? I would never find out: I couldn't afford going to the doctor. Not because of money, but because...

After the garden looked to be in order, I headed to clean up the corridor. It was a simple task given that I only had to sweep the floor, then mop it. Sure, it _was_ very dirty given that some of the children still forgot to clean their shoes but... the rooms I would have to clean at the end of the day were a lot worse. Children just did not know how to be tidy and their teachers most probably did not know much about it either. I once caught one of them tossing her dirty handkerchief on the floor.

I had been the one to pick it up, not her.

I took a deep breath as I looked up and down the bare walls and the dark, scratched-up floor. It was so simple, so... lifeless. Maybe the walls could have been painted vivid colors or the floor could have been brighter... If it had been me decorating, the shoe-racks in front of each class room door would have been colored, not black or white. Would have brought some joy to the dreary place.

Time passed as I cleaned, unaware of everything but my job. It was easy for me to blend into my work: I could lose myself while focusing on making everything as spotless as I could. I was less jumpy when I had something to concentrate on. Other than the money I so desperately needed, that was the sole reason why I needed a job so badly. It helped distract me from the terror that lived in the depth of my mind.

By the time I was done, it was time to clean up the rooms, one by one. There was only ten, but they were all so messy: it usually took me long hours to make them at least seem clean once more. If I wanted it to actually be tidy, I worked late into the night.

Just like that one day. Foolishly, I thought that maybe by prolonging my stay there, it would be easier for me to get home in the end. I had always been stupid like that. I waited until the last moment with everything, let it be paying the bills or walking home. Sometimes I felt like with postponing everything, I was doing the right thing. Of course, it would often dawn on me that I had done something stupid once more.

Like that night. It was dark out as I locked the door behind me, wincing at the creaking of rusty metal. Night had fallen long ago with thick clouds hiding the stars. An eerie silence descended upon the area.

My heart was beating in my throat as I walked, heading to the bus stop as quick as I could. I could only hope that I would not be the only passenger on the vehicle. It had happened often in the past, but it was getting rarer by then. Just a year ago, my nightmares had gained a new meaning: monsters had escaped from underground. They had been caged under Mount Ebott for many, many years.

Oftentimes, I would see a few on the bus. They came in many shapes and sizes. Just the fact that monsters _existed_ made my skin crawl. I knew that they probably meant no harm but... the fear in my heart could not be pushed away. In the morning. it was easy to avoid most monster-inhabited areas, but at night... At night they seemed to be everywhere.

At least I was rarely alone on such late buses. From what I knew, most monsters had managed to blend into society quite well.

That was something I had yet to do even after quite a few years of trying so hard.

I showed my pass to the bus driver and he shot me a grin as I made a dash to an empty seat, trembling. This time, it was only me on the empty vehicle...and him. My breaths came in short gasps as I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to ignore the world with the help of music. But to my bad luck, my phone was drained. It probably wouldn't last until I reached home if I used it... I turned it with a scowl, leaning my head against the cold glass of the windows. The bus was one of this old, noisy ones that felt like they would fall apart any moment. It was stupid, but I was terrified of it breaking apart. What if the ceiling fell on me and crushed me? What if my seat collapsed and I ended up under the wheels? What if...?

I needed my music. I took deep breaths as I struggled to calm myself, focusing on everything but the panic that flooded my mind. The bus stopped in front of a small, rundown stop and I let out a breath of relief when people were standing there, seemingly waiting for it.

However, sheer fright hit me the moment I saw _something_ else climb up the stairs, too. It was a monster... made entirely of fire.

If there was something I feared more than the darkness of the streets, it was fire. I never knew why, but I could not even get near it without whimpering in fear. Lighting the stove made my heart jump in my throat...

The monster of fire was walking slowly, steps calculated. There weren't many empty spaces on the bus, but one was just next to me... I tensed up, eyes going wide when the monster actually sat down next to me, looking at me for a moment before turning back to stare ahead.

I listened to my favorite songs, so loud that I could only hear that and nothing else. I dozed off without noticing, exhausted from my long, long day.

Little did I know that falling asleep on that bus would change my life completely. After all, I was not alone...


	2. On the Run

I hadn't slept so well in long, long years. Or more. Most nights, my terrors followed me even to the land of dreams. I would toss and turn around for hours, pleading to wake up, the escape from my the clutches of my fears. I always knew that I was fine, that nothing could happen to me and yet..

Yet I couldn't push the fright away.

But that time, maybe guided by exhaustion, my slumber was peaceful. I dreamt of running through a field filled with blooming flowers, the sky bright and blue above me. I was laughing, the glee of my soul filling the little silence that otherwise lingered around. Only a few clouds chased the sun: they never reached it. Colors, warmth, _cheer_ filled my mind.

A smile was on my lips as I felt something cradle my cheeks. It was warm, quite like a hand but maybe a bit less firm. It flickered like flames but was not as hot. Just pleasant. Maybe water? Had I fallen asleep in the tub again? I had done that once before. It had not been by intention: I just... I had been so tired that by the time I realized what was going on, I was struggling to sit up, gasping for air. Since then, I had not dared to bathe. I was trembling just at the mention of water. A shower was alright, but any more than that made panic fill my soul.

"This is the last stop," a low voice murmured, barely seeping through the fog of sleep that still clung to my heavy mind. I nodded to myself a bit, allowing my eyes to flutter open for just a moment. A blinding light made me whine just a bit and I turned my head away, a slur escaping my parched lips.

"Just five more minutes please.." the plea was weak and incoherent, but it pulled a chuckle from the owner of the low, soft voice. I liked it... It was just a tad familiar: I was sure I had heard it before, but where? Did I know this person?

"Tell that to the bus driver," the same voice chuckled once more. It was airy, almost melodic and I could not help but smile a bit just once more, forcing my eyes to open again. After all, I _did_ have to wake up.

My eyes widened as my vision focused on a face made of flames. The fire-monster who sat next to me was staring down at me with what seemed to be amusement flickering in his yellow eyes that were more or less hidden behind a pair of classy glasses. I blinked: I had to bite down on my lower lip to not scream. What was it... he, from the voice going to do to me? Was he going to hurt me? Panic rose in my chest and I pressed myself more into my seat, gulping. If this was how I would die...

"Don't worry, I just had to wake you up," was that sadness in his voice? I had no idea why. I was so used to shying away from anyone and everyone I met that by then, I had forgotten just how much it must have hurt to be met with fright in eyes and behavior that clearly screamed _get away from me!_ To me, it did not matter whether once was human or monster: I treated them all the same way. After all, in the twisted depth of my soul, they all meant one thing: _harm._

"Oh." I muttered intelligently, feeling just a bit of guilt swirl in my heart. The genuine tone of his voice had made me feel a bit bad. After all, he probably only interacted with me because he had to. He wasn't like the people who actually approached me."Wait.. did you say this was the last stop?" Only then did it dawn on me: I had missed my stop! I had slept _in_ and now I was probably on the other side of town. I could only pray that it wasn't too late for me to catch a bus to the area I lived it."Crap!" I nearly snarled at myself as I stood up and made a dash off the bus, my legs trembling. Even without a watch to check time I knew that it was really late.

"I assume you do not live around here," the monster followed me. He towered over me and it was just _frightening_. The way he lit up the area of the small bus stop made me stare in wonder for a moment or two, however. The streetlamps were already in bad condition there, I knew because I had been there before. And yet, he stood there, brighter than them.. He was almost like a sun that I could stare at without any issue. Still, he was _fire_. And fire meant harm.

"No, I..I don't." I hang my head, shame coloring my cheeks a vivid red. I always hated others noticing that I had done something wrong. It only made them laugh at just how stupid, how useless I was.

"That's unfortunate,' only concern was in his voice. It was a soft crackle, like a campfire that had just come to life. Oddly enough for once, I did not flinch away at just the thought. After all, his voice still reminded me of someone..."It's pretty cold out here. Will you walk home?"

At that, I tensed up, my eyes growing wide. I shook my head as quickly as I could, heart jumping into my throat once more. No. That, I could not do. I had a pass for the bus anyway. It would have been a shame to waste it. Even like this, I would have to walk about fifteen minutes to my place. It was pure torture.. But walking more..? It would have been even worse. The mere thought sent a shiver down my back. "No, I will take a bus." I replied a moment or two later, a soft sigh escaping me. I just wanted to get on the warm - albeit definitely not comfortable - bus already. I wanted to go home so badly.

"I see." he nodded a bit. He glanced around nonchalantly, as if he was searching for the spot I would have to head to if I wanted to take the next bus. There was nothing there for now, just the sign. No bus ready for me to get on.

Great.

"I. I guess I will have to wait a bit." I said, taking a deep breath. I could already see myself just a minute from then on: Standing outside, alone. Without much light. Alone. In the dark. Panicking.

Just why was I such a mess?

"Are you sure you should do that? It's quite late, and it's dark out here." once more, it was only genuine worry that seemed to linger in the air around him. For an odd reason, I felt like I could trust him. But the last time I had trusted someone... I regretted it just moments later. I could still recall everything from that day...

"Yeah. Been there, done that." I smiled weakly. I was sure that I looked like a mess to him, still wearing my dirty uniform, hair messed up, dark circles around my eyes. Maybe it was him who should have been scared of me. I probably looked like a crazy person. Or a murderer.

"Well, good luck going home, then." And with that, he left, his steps long and quick. Part of me felt relieved that he was gone. Kind or not, he was still made of fire... then again it probably was not the same as what I was so deadly terrified of. At least around him, it had been warm. Suddenly I realized just how cold it really was.

The bus, luckily for me, appeared just five minutes later. I had never been so happy for such an old model to come. It may have smelled, may have head gross seats stained with whatever - I did not want to know, really - but it would take me home and that was what mattered. I just wanted to take a shower and fall into my bed. After all, I would have to wake up in the morning once more, no matter how I did not want to.

This time, I was the only passenger. For some reason, it did not bother me too much for once. Maybe it was because I was so tired. Had I not been paying such close attention to not falling asleep, I probably would have minded being so alone. But for once, I could shut everything out.

Of course when I got off the bus and realized that my phone was dead I had to realize that maybe getting home wouldn't be so easy. I knew the short route by heart, but without the additional light...

It was going to be hell.

And boy, was it _bad_. I walked with caution, but faster than ever, my chest rising and falling in a rapid manner. I was sure that this would be the night I would finally perish: there was no way that I could make it home. Each turn I took, I looked around madly for people who could attack me, or worse. It was getting cold, my thin coat doing no justice to the sudden chilly winds that came to ruffle my hair. I was shaking like a leaf by the time I reached the end of the longer street that took up most of my route. I just needed to take a turn on the left and then, walk for a minute or two more. Then, I would be safe...

I was shaken out of my thoughts the sound of heavy boots hitting dirty pavement. I looked up without meaning to, eyes falling on the man who was walking towards me. He was as human as I was, but that did little to reassure me. He looked like a worker with worn clothes and dirt on his face.

I wanted to turn back and run despite the fact that he probably just wanted to go home as much as I did. Common sense had slipped from my mind as I picked up my pace, wanting to pass him as quickly as I could. But just as I was a step or two from him, he reached into his bag. My eyes wide, I came to a halt, nearly tumbling into him...

And he had only reached for a lighter. A cigarette already was stuck between his lips. Just how foolish could I be?

I walked as quickly as I could after that, my heart beating frantically. I knew that I had no been in real danger. I knew that everything was alright but.. I couldn't calm down. Not until I was home, trembling slightly from just everything I had gone through that day. I felt heavy and tired but I still had to wash up.

At least that I could do without screaming in fear. Just half an hour later I was curled up in my bed, clutching my pillow to my chest. I managed to plug my phone in and waited until some life came back to it before turning it on, my favorite song lulling me into sleep.

 Surprisingly, I did not dream of anything that night. I welcomed the darkness happily: it was much better than the demons that liked to haunt me at night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a confession. Last night the last part of this actually happened to me. I'm sort of like this in real life, if a little more relaxed around people (nothing happened to me in the past though, I just read too much :/). I had never been so freaked out before tho. I just..stood for a long moment before trying to walk as quick as I could. (I have to add that some stuff had been going on around and my train to my town was stopped at a random stop and even then I was reaaallly scared so the fear had been building up lol). Anyway, this probably won't get long. I just...needed to write this out. Plus I like Grillby xD


End file.
